I want to talk about the power of thinking, both consciously and unconsciously. Thoughts are a creative energy. Everything you see around you from your house and your car to a packet of chips first originated from a thought. So from creative thoughts to acting upon these thoughts will always result in tangible objects or prevalent situations. Once a thought manifests into a belief you become much more aware of its presence and you can see the object or situation more clearly as if it has been there forever. An example of this is when you buy a new car. Before that day, it is a thought. You don’t see too many of them, but once you make the conscious decision to own the car and you are in it and can feel it, there seems to be thousands of them on the road as you become more aware of them. A thought will produce an emotion and your emotions are what determine your decisions. So if you were to change how you feel about something, you will change your belief toward it and this will become your normal.

The stress of everyday life creates emotions based on your own or other peoples past experiences and also the unknown experiences of the future and fears are created and expressed through your actions. One thing that stops most people from doing things differently is the fear of those actions being criticized or ridiculed and also not knowing whether it is the right or wrong thing to do, so it becomes safer to do nothing and stick to what you know. If you are in a situation that you are not happy with, but you continue to do the same things day in and day out which will cause you to react the same way every time, then exactly the same situation and circumstances will be the results. To step outside your comfort zone and do something differently or respond differently is not an easy thing to do for most people, but in order to get a different result we must do something differently. You may be led to believe that by changing your own thoughts and actions, will change the re-actions of others around you?….. Or at least that’s what I thought at first but it was not true. I was never a morning person and anyone who greeted me in the morning was greeted back with a grunt or very short ‘not happy’ type response. One morning I woke up and decided to act and respond differently to see what was going to happen. Instead of grunting when someone said “good morning, how are you?” I replied with “Great, how are you?” in a happier more energetic way and the different response I got was awesome, it was so different and so welcoming that something as simple as that changed the way I saw mornings and therefore my whole day started better. I started getting up each morning ready to see a new day and eager to change something else. It became exciting, so I practiced many other methods of communication throughout the day and saw people change all around me. Although I later realized that it wasn’t the people around me changing it was my perception of other people, their actions and situations that had changed. The differences I had in response, was because of what I had changed within myself. I started to become happier and more excepting of myself, which in turn made me see happiness and the good in people and I became more accepting of everyone as individuals. A situation can be either good or bad; it just depends on how we look at the situation. Changing the way you think about it will change the way you see it and if your perception changes, so will your actions. We all at some stage would like everything around us to change and try to change situations from the outside, putting blame on other people or ourselves for situations and focusing too much on the problems. But if we continue to focus our thoughts and apply our energy to the problem, these thoughts will manifest in our minds and the problems will remain and in some cases build into something much bigger than it is. If we can detach some of the emotion from the problem and accept it for what it is, we can move passed these blockages and see more clearly a solution. In saying that, sometimes there is no solution other than acceptance and changing the way we choose to let it affects us emotionally. We choose how we feel. Easier said than done? Definitely, but it is up to you at the end of the day whether you choose to feel the way you do. The tiniest little change in yourself can make a big change out there and instead of holding a grudge, learn to forgive people for their actions as blaming someone else for how you feel is more of an excuse for feeling the way you do. Forgiveness toward other people is one thing, but we should never forget to forgive the most important people, that is ourselves. This can be quite hard, but if we choose to live by our values then we start to realize that we are not doing anything wrong. We are being the people that we want to be instead of living with anxiety and anger in our hearts and living to what we think others or society wants us to be. Once we choose to live by our values, we start to acknowledge our mistakes and forgive ourselves for our past actions and move on with our lives. If we are continually looking behind us into our past, we can never see the obstacles in front of us in our future and are bound to trip up at some stage. Once the past is left in the past, we can get a clearer picture of our future and be able to prepare for and dodge the obstacles. Being thankful and showing gratitude is also important step on the path to forgiveness, for example, I can thank the girlfriends that have broken my heart, the friends who picked me up again, the tough guy that beat me up at school, and the friends that gave me courage, the boss who sacked me and the people who restored my confidence and anyone else that may have had an impact on my life, whether positive or negative, because without these people and their actions, my life would have gone in a different direction and I would not have learnt the lessons I have learnt. Forgiveness can create a whole new perception of your life and once you realize it is not all bad, it frees your mind to think more of the good and this starts to manifest in your mind more than the bad and things get better and better as we change our focus and begin to recreate our new future.

All in all, the changes we make must be within ourselves. No matter how small the change might be, the affects will be tremendous and the only wrong decision you can make, is to choose not to make the decision in the first place. If you are not learning, you are not living, as the old saying goes…. We live and learn.

 

To your future,

 

Clinton Battye

This has been written about in many other books and the path to discovering who you are is what I believe to be the single most important thing anyone can do and finding your own personal set of values is a great place to start. There are exercises that have been used successfully by others to help find your values. Your values are above all else and are the most important things you will ever possess and you will base everything in your life from them. I cannot stress enough the importance of this. Without finding your values, you will wonder lost, day by day unsure of your future and you will live your life controlled by circumstances. Grab a note pad and a pen. Make sure you have plenty of paper and I want you to write down every single thing you want to do before you die. Create your own bucket list and this can be done over a couple of days, weeks, months, whatever it takes, but it doesn’t mean that you have to do all of them it is just an exercise that allows you to see what really matters in your life. You should be able to reach One Hundred items even when you don't think you can think of any more right now, they will come to you. Once you think you are done, take a look at the first ones you wrote down and compare them to the last. Do you see the difference? They tend to start materialistic, and then gradually head toward emotional fulfillment and inner peace. It is these last few items on your list that are most important. If you were to complete all the things on your list, you should begin at the end and make your way back to the start. By the time you reach the number one spot, you will have deserved every bit of it.
Now I would like to share two of the activities I like to help you find your values. It’s your values that point you toward the important things at the end of your bucket list. They should also point you back toward the direction you are supposed to be heading.

 

Activity 1 (You will need a pen and some paper).

How you want to be perceived by others.

Picture yourself driving slowly down a narrow road through a park. The sun is shining through the trees, everything is green and the flowers are in full bloom. As you drive further down the road you approach a building. This building is made of large sandstone blocks and it has a highly pitched tiled roof. As you get closer, you see that the front door is open; you stop the car, get out and walk towards the door. As you walk into the building you see that all of the people in the audience are all of your friends, colleagues and relatives. They all look a little sad and a few have light tears forming. At the end of the isle down the middle there is an open casket you walk toward it. When you get there you look inside, and you see yourself. You realize that you are at your own funeral.

At that time, four people who have known you and you were quite close to move to the front of the audience to speak about you.

 
Firstly, a family member stands up and talks about having known you on an intimate basis. Who is this person? What would you like this person to say? Not what you think they feel about you – what would you truly like them to say? Take a few moments now to write down the key elements of their speech. Don’t worry about sentences – just catch the important words.

Next, a person who has known you through a club or organization such as the local church or footy team moves to the front of the gathering and speaks of their experience with you. Who is this person? What would you like them to say? Once again, not what you think they would say – what would you like to hear? Write down the essence of their words.

Thirdly, a friend describes the nature of their friendship with you and how you have affected their life. Who is this friend? What would you like to hear said by this person? Catch the key words or phrases on paper now.

Lastly, someone who has worked with you speaks, recollecting working with you under pressure and during less urgent times. Who is this? What would you like to hear come from this person’s mouth? Get the key words on paper now.

Take a look at what you have just written down and this is a reflection of who you want to be. You will have in front of you a description of your highest values, the things you treasure most as a human being. Whether they are kindness, compassion, strength or intelligence, these qualities and attributes will form the basis of your entire life – after all, they are the things you cherish most about who you are.

Notice that houses and holidays, cars and careers all lose their importance when compared with these values. After all, did anyone you heard at your imagined funeral say “he had a nice car”?

 



Activity 2 (to be done over 7 days)


How to identify your core values in every day activities:


To begin, try to filter out any voices in your head that may be telling you what others (society, the media, peers, your boss, etc.) expect of you. Listen to your own inner voice. Now ask yourself, what is uniquely important to you?

Love, Security, Health, Passion, Adventure, Honesty, Respect, Wisdom, Gratefulness, Freedom, Safety, Energy, Integrity, Happiness, Growth, Playfulness, Creativity, Connection, Intelligence, Contribution.

Arrange the values in order of importance to you. You may add values of your own definition if you wish. Pay particular attention to identifying and prioritizing your top five core values. Then note which values you spend most of your time pursuing daily for the next 7 days. Put a check mark next to them. If there are significant discrepancies between the values you spend time on from day to day and your 5 top ranked values, are you being true to yourself? This exercise will help you refocus your life on the values that are most important to you and will change the way you act on things.




I have found the more I learn about myself, the more I learn to understand other people and when all of my decisions are based on my values, I know I will also have nothing to hide.



Thanks for reading I hope you enjoy 'In Clint's Words'. If you do, please give me a dollar.