This has been written about in many other books and the path to discovering who you are is what I believe to be the single most important thing anyone can do and finding your own personal set of values is a great place to start. There are exercises that have been used successfully by others to help find your values. Your values are above all else and are the most important things you will ever possess and you will base everything in your life from them. I cannot stress enough the importance of this. Without finding your values, you will wonder lost, day by day unsure of your future and you will live your life controlled by circumstances. Grab a note pad and a pen. Make sure you have plenty of paper and I want you to write down every single thing you want to do before you die. Create your own bucket list and this can be done over a couple of days, weeks, months, whatever it takes, but it doesn’t mean that you have to do all of them it is just an exercise that allows you to see what really matters in your life. You should be able to reach One Hundred items even when you don't think you can think of any more right now, they will come to you. Once you think you are done, take a look at the first ones you wrote down and compare them to the last. Do you see the difference? They tend to start materialistic, and then gradually head toward emotional fulfillment and inner peace. It is these last few items on your list that are most important. If you were to complete all the things on your list, you should begin at the end and make your way back to the start. By the time you reach the number one spot, you will have deserved every bit of it.
Now I would like to share two of the activities I like to help you find your values. It’s your values that point you toward the important things at the end of your bucket list. They should also point you back toward the direction you are supposed to be heading.

 

Activity 1 (You will need a pen and some paper).

How you want to be perceived by others.

Picture yourself driving slowly down a narrow road through a park. The sun is shining through the trees, everything is green and the flowers are in full bloom. As you drive further down the road you approach a building. This building is made of large sandstone blocks and it has a highly pitched tiled roof. As you get closer, you see that the front door is open; you stop the car, get out and walk towards the door. As you walk into the building you see that all of the people in the audience are all of your friends, colleagues and relatives. They all look a little sad and a few have light tears forming. At the end of the isle down the middle there is an open casket you walk toward it. When you get there you look inside, and you see yourself. You realize that you are at your own funeral.

At that time, four people who have known you and you were quite close to move to the front of the audience to speak about you.

 
Firstly, a family member stands up and talks about having known you on an intimate basis. Who is this person? What would you like this person to say? Not what you think they feel about you – what would you truly like them to say? Take a few moments now to write down the key elements of their speech. Don’t worry about sentences – just catch the important words.

Next, a person who has known you through a club or organization such as the local church or footy team moves to the front of the gathering and speaks of their experience with you. Who is this person? What would you like them to say? Once again, not what you think they would say – what would you like to hear? Write down the essence of their words.

Thirdly, a friend describes the nature of their friendship with you and how you have affected their life. Who is this friend? What would you like to hear said by this person? Catch the key words or phrases on paper now.

Lastly, someone who has worked with you speaks, recollecting working with you under pressure and during less urgent times. Who is this? What would you like to hear come from this person’s mouth? Get the key words on paper now.

Take a look at what you have just written down and this is a reflection of who you want to be. You will have in front of you a description of your highest values, the things you treasure most as a human being. Whether they are kindness, compassion, strength or intelligence, these qualities and attributes will form the basis of your entire life – after all, they are the things you cherish most about who you are.

Notice that houses and holidays, cars and careers all lose their importance when compared with these values. After all, did anyone you heard at your imagined funeral say “he had a nice car”?

 



Activity 2 (to be done over 7 days)


How to identify your core values in every day activities:


To begin, try to filter out any voices in your head that may be telling you what others (society, the media, peers, your boss, etc.) expect of you. Listen to your own inner voice. Now ask yourself, what is uniquely important to you?

Love, Security, Health, Passion, Adventure, Honesty, Respect, Wisdom, Gratefulness, Freedom, Safety, Energy, Integrity, Happiness, Growth, Playfulness, Creativity, Connection, Intelligence, Contribution.

Arrange the values in order of importance to you. You may add values of your own definition if you wish. Pay particular attention to identifying and prioritizing your top five core values. Then note which values you spend most of your time pursuing daily for the next 7 days. Put a check mark next to them. If there are significant discrepancies between the values you spend time on from day to day and your 5 top ranked values, are you being true to yourself? This exercise will help you refocus your life on the values that are most important to you and will change the way you act on things.




I have found the more I learn about myself, the more I learn to understand other people and when all of my decisions are based on my values, I know I will also have nothing to hide.



Thanks for reading I hope you enjoy 'In Clint's Words'. If you do, please give me a dollar.

 


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    Think it, Feel it, believe it....... Own it! - Clinton Battye

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